Bleach know your stars
by Hex223
Summary: Rukia an alien! Toshiro president of the midget club! Renji a pole dancer! The secrets are out!
1. Chapter 1

i am totaly new to fanfiction so sorry if i do anything wrong

when its not bold its the star :)

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**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Ichigo Kurosaki… became a shinigami to get money**

What? I don't get money for being a shinigami!

**Ichigo ****Kurosaki …. Is the leader of a group called the fruit heads**

What the hell? No I'm not!

**Ichigo**** Kurosaki….. Loves to be called strawberry**

No I don't! And my name doesn't mean strawberry it means one who protects!

**Ichigo Kurosaki…. Has a hero complex**

What no I don't

**Ichigo**** Kurosaki…. Secretly takes steroids before each battle to make sure he wins.**

I do not!

**Lies**

What the fuck you're the one who's lying!

**Ichigo Kurosaki… secretly loves Hinamori Momo**

Wait I don't even know who that is!

**Ichigo Kurosaki….. Dyed his hair orange to get more attention**

No I was born with orange hair! Where are you getting your stupid facts there all wrong!

**Ichigo Kurosaki…. Is in denial**

I'm not in denial!

**Now you know Ichigo Kurosaki**

What! they know nothing about me! Those are all lies!

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i do not own Bleach, All that or the idea. Slothy Girl let me have it so

comments r welcomed


	2. Chapter 2

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Rukia Kuchiki….. Draws pictures just to piss off Ichigo**

What? No I don't I love to draw. It's just an added bonus.

**Rukia Kuchiki…. Uses her drawing to torture all that** **defy her**

It's not torture my chappys are adorable

**Rukia Kuchiki…. She has a funny last name**

What! How dare you say that about a noble's name!

**Rukia Kuchiki…. Is really an alien**

An alien? Why would you think that!

**Because you have a big head**

My head is not big!

**Rukia Kuchiki…. Is very loud**

Will you just shut up!

**Rukia Kuchiki… She is the sister of a Hobo Captain.**

My brother is not a hobo! He probably has more money then you!

**Rukia Kuchiki…. is very mean**

It's your own damn fault

**Now you know the very mean ****Rukia Kuchiki**

I'm not mean. All you do is say lies, if anything you're the mean one!

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i own nothig and i do not hate any of the characters that i use


	3. Chapter 3

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Uryu Ishida…He enjoys eating strawberries**

I don't know how to respond to that

**Uryu Ishida…. Will eat Orihime's food just to get her to talk to him**

That's ridiculous Inoue-san talks to me

**Uryu Ishida ….. Is a pansy who likes dancing threw thorn bushes**

What?

**With his hair on fire**

That makes no sense

**Uryu Ishida…. He thinks Quincy's are pansies from Mars**

What? How dare you disrespect the Quincy's!

**Uryu Ishida…. Is a huge liar**

What I haven't lied!

**Then explain why you said you were the last Quincy and yet in the more recent chapters there are more!**

Well that because…. Um….

**Now you know the liar Uryu Ishida**

Wait I can explain!

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i dont own anything

comments are welcomed

who should be next?


	4. Chapter 4

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Renji Abarai…. Likes to make funny faces behind his captains back**

What? I don't disrespect my captain like that!

**Renji Abarai… Goes by the alias 'Ariel Shortsenhanger' while in the world of the living**

Who?

**Renji Abarai… sleeps with a pink bunny plushy Rukia gave him**

It was a gift!

**Renji Abarai… is a pole dancer to pay the rent at Urahara's**

What's pole dancing? Does it have to do with a broom? If so than yes I pole dance

**Renji Abarai… after reading the first chapter of bleach know your stars begged Ichigo to let him join the fruit heads**

The group offers free food at meetings

**Renji Abarai…. Secretly films his captain while he sleeps**

That was one time! It was a dare

**Sure it was**

It was I swear!

**Renji Abarai… he traded a dime for a penny**

It was a good deal Urahara told me so!

**Sigh now you know Renji Abarai**

Do you think I should have gotten two pennies?

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i own nothing and i hate no one


	5. Chapter 5

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Orihime Inoue...****She has no brain so she's gonna have to go to the Wizard in the city of Oz to get one**

Wizard from Oz? You mean the movie?

**Orihime Inoue… She stuffs her bra to give us the appearance that she has extremely large boobs.**

These are all natural, why would I even stuff my bra?

**That's a question only you can answer**

Meany

**Orihime Inoue… when she dies she won't go to soul society **

Why not?

**Because you're a ginger….. Gingers have no souls**

What Ichigo's a ginger to and he's a soul reaper!

**Well at first he didn't have a soul but Rukia gave him one so ha!**

That's not fair!

**Orihime Inoue… She says she loves Ichigo, yet she joins sides with the guy trying to, I don't know, KILL HIM!**

I was saving him!

**That's what they all say**

**Orihime Inoue… she secretly hates every one that's why she tries to kill them with her poisoned food**

My food isn't poisoned!

**Now you know the killer ****Orihime Inoue**

But I've never killed anyone in my life!

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i hate no one! i own nothing

all reviews i read and people that you want me to do i will

thank you for reading and remember to review :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Toshiro Hitsugaya…. The only reason why his hair is white is because he stuck a fork in an electrical socket**

Electrical socket? What is that?

**Toshiro Hitsugaya… Hates to admit he thinks Momo would look better covered with peanut butter**

Peanut butter? Is it any good? I might have to try some

**Toshiro Hitsugaya… only goes to the human world so he can go into the hot springs with Rangiku**

w-what! I do no such thing with Matsumoto!

**Toshiro Hitsugaya… is secretly and old man**

What? I'm not old I'm the youngest caption there is

**Sure you are**

Whatever I refuse to stoop to your level

**Toshiro Hitsugaya… is****president of the midget club**

What I'm not a midget and I don't own a club

**You do! I black mailed one of your members to tell me everything**

Was it Rukia!

**Haha nope I lied**

Damn you

**Now you know ****president ****Toshiro Hitsugaya**

I'm leaving I have a meeting to attend

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yay another chapter i hate no one and own nothing

reviews are welcomed and any people you want me to do i will

people planed-

Grimmjow

Ukitake

Keigo

thanks for reading


	7. Chapter 7

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Keigo Asano…. Is a weird pervert**

Ohhhhh I'm so unloved!

**Keigo Asano….. Would date anything in a skirt**

Ahh the truth it hurts

**Keigo Asano ….. Has naked photos of all the girls in his class**

Gasp you found my stash!

**You make it sound like a drug**

It is to me

**Keigo Asano….. Wishes to get boob implants**

If only I was born a girl

**Creep**

Well at least I still have my Hime! She loves me!

**Nope**

Ahh cruel gods I have been damned. What have I done to get all this hate!

**Keigo Asano... was most likely dropped on his head as a kid**

It's all my sisters fault she always hated me for my good looks!

**now you know Keigo Asano**

She is probably plotting another plan to get rid of me! I must get rid of her before that happens yes the perfect plan

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yay another chapter done!

i own nothing and hate no one

if you want me to do someone let me know

planed people

Ukitake

Grimmjow

Soi-fon

reviews are welcomed


	8. Chapter 8

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Soi-Fon…. Has 20 stuffed cats all named ****Yoruichi**

n-no I don't

**Soi-Fon…. Thinks her ****lieutenant looks like a big old monkey**

You don't know how I view my lieutenant.

**Soi-Fon…. Keeps a large amount of catnip in her house**

Yoruichi-sama enjoys catnip so whenever she visits I make sure she has some

**Soi-Fon….. Sings the song ****Sweet Little Bumblebee**** in the shower**

y-you spy on me in the shower

**Nope**

Then how?

**A bag of cat treats goes a long way**

Yoruichi-sama would never do that

**Who said anything about Yoruichi**

What I don't under stand

**Yoruichi isn't the only kitty in bleach**

…!

**Now you know ****Soi-Fon**

b-but he's a guy!

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ps the other kitty is Grimmjow

yay another chapter

i own nothing and hate no one

reviews are welcomed

if you want me to do someone let me know

people i shall do

Ukitake

Grimmjow


	9. Chapter 9

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Kisuke Urahara… he likes to lick cats**

That's a disturbing thought

**Kisuke Urahara….he's a pervert**

You got that right

**Kisuke Urahara…reads porn on the internet**

How did you find out?

**Soul Society**

Interesting

**Kisuke Urahara…. He gives free candy to kids**

Kids are cute

**Pedophile**

That's one way to think of it

**Kisuke Urahara… he loves Yoruichi**

Yup

**You know, agreeing to all this isn't exactly what you're supposed to do!**

I just do it to annoy you

**So those things aren't all true?**

No, they were

**You know what… Kisuke Urahara… I think his hat is stupid**

Go ahead and hate my hat, it's not like I can stop your hate for it

**Now you know, Kisuke Urahara**

Yep, they sure do

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thank you to all who review :)

I hate no one and own nothing

reviews are welcomed

if you want me to do someone let me know

people i shall do

Ukitake

Grimmjow

Byakuya (I might wait awile for him cuz he just died)


	10. Chapter 10

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Chad Yasutora****…. He loves to eat the forest creatures**

…

**Chad Yasutora… he is a giant meat shield**

….

**What is wrong with you! Don't you ever say anything?**

…..

**I like Kisuke better, at least he gave me more of a reaction**

…

**You know what, do I have to speak Spanish for you!**

…..

**hola como estas**

…..

**Are you deaf?**

….

**This is like a one sided conversation!**

…..

**You know what that's it here you see this bird *pulls out a bird and a gun* I will kill it if you don't start talking!**

Wait don't do it

**Start talking!**

I love the color pink

**Ok that's a start**

I also have a pink pair of footy PJ's

**Yay now you know ****Chad Yasutora**

…..

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no birds were harmed in the making of this

here is another chapter i try to update atleast once a week

I own nothing and hate no one

reviews are loved

if you want me to do someone let me know

people i shall do

Ukitake

Grimmjow

Byakuya


	11. Chapter 11

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars**

**Byakuya Kuchiki…he is secretly gay**

I do not have time for your petty games now untie me

**Byakuya Kuchiki…he loves to be tied up**

I do not now untie me this moment

**Hmm nope**

I will have you reported for this. I will make them imprison you for life

**Byakuya Kuchiki…he's losing his cool**

I am not losing my "cool" now untie me or face my blade

**You mean your flower sword**

It is not a flower sword

**Sure you just keep telling yourself that**

I will ask one more time untie me

**Hmm no ****Byakuya Kuchiki… he loves to let Renji do his hair**

My lieutenant does no such thing.

**You don't know what happens at night while you sleep**

I am sick and tired of this!

**Byakuya Kuchiki …he's in love with, oh shit he broke the ropes run!**

Now face my wrath

**Now you know Byakuya Kuchiki!**

Scatter

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sorry that I havent updated in awhile I have had alot going on my sister left for college, school started, spirt week, homecoming, and of corse homework. ill try to update when I can tho :)

reviews make me happy and if you want me to do someone let me know :D

people I shall do

Ukitake

Grimmjow

Shūhei


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